What do think about hugs?
Hugs. The inspiration that lead to this video was interesting. Conor came in as he normally does in the morning to give me a hug after he wakes up….he is usually up long before anyone else, and definitely, before me.
However as this morning unfolded he came into the room as I was getting up, and he stepped back to leave again as he saw I was getting up, so I was curious asked him what was going on. Conor assumed I was too busy and that it wasn’t a good time to hug.
The video explores the rest of the conversation and just my ‘2 pence’ on hugs.
I am curious on your thoughts? was this video helpful?
What were your takeaways from this – if any?
The transcript is available below
Be you to the full
Today I want to talk a wee bit about hugs and giving hugs.
What’s brought it into my mind is my oldest boy Conor,
come into the bedroom is yesterday morning and
he came over to give me a hug
and I went to get up out of bed and he took a wee step back,
and I looked at him and I said what’s going on?
and he was over in one side of the room and I was over here.
He says naw, naw I just wanted to give you a hug and
I didn’t think that I was going to get one
the way that he had said it,
and how [he said it] put me on the back foot
for wee minute for me to really workout what was going on
and it was nice, because it come over we give each other a hug
and that’s what we do. Every day all the wains,
at some point of the day, are reaching out for we hug.
But in his stepping back and taking a pause,
his thinking was that he wasn’t going to ‘get’ one.
And there is a distinction in any interaction
going into an interaction with someone,
its funny, they just happen to be sitting here [laughs].
So you’d that that was setup these dodas – imagine,
somebody comes along, and they put out their hand.
And this person over here can choose or
however mode of thinking that they are in
they could say. I don’t feel like reaching out to
shake their hand. So they don’t.
And this person is kinda left hanging
Its kinda the same way with a hug,
that they would have 2 hands out
that goes for any interaction,
you can put something out there and some people
will receive it and some people won’t.
But a distinction when it comes to hugs or
shaking hands or anything like that is
once there is a hug, or the actual connection takes place
in that way then, it is no longer someone given one,
one thing and someone taken something.
So it stops being a give and take it becomes a ‘give’ and a ‘give’
and there’s a lovely thing about that. Because
you stop being just yourself for a moment
and there’s, a sharing
and research on it is very interesting.
So there’s statistics out there that if you hold a hug
for more than either 10 seconds, 14 seconds,
20 seconds depends what you’re reading,
it releases a lot of good feeling chemicals in the body
and it naturally brings back a sense of restoration and
restoring and balance and what people would describe as love
and connection and all that nice stuff but it signals then
to the rest of the body that things are generally either
Okay, and things can go back to being on an even keel.
But it’s okay, if someone doesn’t want to accept one.
Because it’s not that you’re not going to get something out of it.
Because the whole thing to start with is a give,
if you’re reaching out your arms to give someone a hug,
and it’s not accepted, you’re still giving,
you’re not getting
because even in the hug, you’re still giving you’re not getting
It’s an outpouring or an outward resonance of what’s already within
and so it only can come from within and the same
for the other person if they choose then to reach out to
hug, shake hands or make some form of a connection
then that’s all that’s happening.
They’re coming forward and there’s a coming forward here.
That’s the only direction it goes in,
it’s not a give and take thing.
So I thought I’d throw that bit of randomness in this into the world today.
I hope it makes sense.
Good job these guys [were here].
I’ve seen these in the shop last week and they’ve been sitting
in different parts of the desks until I get somewhere for them.
So they came on handy,
whatever you’re doing where we are, hope you have a lovely day or evening,
and if it makes sense or if there’s something around hugging or
connecting or shaking hands or anything at all.
And anything that I had said there I’d be interested to hear
how that looks in your world and how small distinctions and
seeing things slightly differently has helped.
So here you go.